The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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