I hate your face
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize