kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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