It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize