I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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