the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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