I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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