Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
