Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
this will be a night to untag.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
