Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
