You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
