K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
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You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.