WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.