I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?