2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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