The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
