I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
