we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
