You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
