I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
