i jhust puked up my retainher.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
