i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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