Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Will exercising make me less horny?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
