dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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