Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
