Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
