yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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