Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
