where does the pee come out of this thing
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
