i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize