Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
