Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize