Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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  (607): I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me http://tfl.nu/xbef
  Replies (2) Good night (1648) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I cut my penus on the lid.

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  (316): I cut my penus on the lid. http://tfl.nu/uger
  Replies (38) Good night (496) Bad night (6103) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?

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  (415): This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf? http://tfl.nu/a0bl
  Replies (16) Good night (732) Bad night (3549) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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  (248): first off, his name is dougie. strike one. http://tfl.nu/yrg3
  Replies (22) Good night (960) Bad night (4490) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  succeeding

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  (781): we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives? (910): succeeding http://tfl.nu/avwv
  Replies (10) Good night (5067) Bad night (879)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex

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  (336): and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex http://tfl.nu/hs2b
  Replies (23) Good night (6313) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

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  (219): So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers. http://tfl.nu/p4nm
  Replies (7) Good night (2358) Bad night (659)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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  (+44): The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad... http://tfl.nu/0y4t
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (1947) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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  (703): Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix http://tfl.nu/hs2f
  Replies (5) Good night (1586) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (1759)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.

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  (206): Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower. http://tfl.nu/5wes
  Replies (6) Good night (1578) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness

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  (610): I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness http://tfl.nu/gzkv
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.

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  (252): i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass. http://tfl.nu/8dgj
  Replies (1) Good night (201) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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  (914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x
  Replies (12) Good night (515) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Breakfast of champions

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is that a dick crepe?

  (425): View more from Washington

  It is indeed

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  (425): Breakfast of champions (206): Is that a dick crepe? (425): It is indeed http://tfl.nu/tzit
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (163)

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