that's an acceptable place to lick
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.