We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.