Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night. http://tfl.nu/8tsr
  Replies (25) Good night (920) Bad night (3487)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face. http://tfl.nu/tz6f
  Replies (7) Good night (2685) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (6997) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense http://tfl.nu/qajt
  Replies (48) Good night (5562) Bad night (1489)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give. http://tfl.nu/lewe
  Replies (11) Good night (4283) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc
  Replies (9) Good night (3916) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me change into clothes i can run in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer (1-586): Ok let me change into clothes i can run in http://tfl.nu/bmel
  Replies (10) Good night (2931) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012. (209): And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/yl8f
  Replies (15) Good night (1872) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1894) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy. http://tfl.nu/8uc8
  Replies (10) Good night (1016) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house http://tfl.nu/563g
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I ate the most amazing corn dog today.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I will probably dream about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I ate the most amazing corn dog today. (517): I will probably dream about it. http://tfl.nu/pmjz
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police http://tfl.nu/ocot
  Replies (5) Good night (1262) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs http://tfl.nu/7wjm
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I got inside last night via doggy door

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I got inside last night via doggy door http://tfl.nu/ezui
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (161)

Randomize