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I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cut my penus on the lid.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
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