I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.