Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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  (978): If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates http://tfl.nu/qzzm
  Replies (28) Good night (4013) Bad night (702)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life

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  (617): Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life http://tfl.nu/020c
  Replies (11) Good night (1163) Bad night (4358)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.

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  (440): I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit. http://tfl.nu/ddzq
  Replies (7) Good night (1022) Bad night (3099)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

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  (207): i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like http://tfl.nu/ol8k
  Replies (72) Good night (12856) Bad night (1335)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game

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  (302): I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game http://tfl.nu/wh7c
  Replies (10) Good night (4558) Bad night (919)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

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  (206): i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual. http://tfl.nu/myfw
  Replies (23) Good night (5813) Bad night (1902)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.

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  (336): This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/cqt6
  Replies (12) Good night (4223) Bad night (1292)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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  (612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3
  Replies (3) Good night (2677) Bad night (886)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.

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  (908): I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag. http://tfl.nu/b0zy
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (1883)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".

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  (+44): Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff". http://tfl.nu/952s
  Replies (7) Good night (1133) Bad night (646)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.

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  (678): You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary. http://tfl.nu/2yw2
  Replies (15) Good night (1692) Bad night (568)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  ...

  (281): View more from Texas

  Exactly.

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  (281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox
  Replies (9) Good night (773) Bad night (1705)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  (404): You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/yk6b
  Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (431)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs

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  (704): Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs http://tfl.nu/e56e
  Replies (2) Good night (888) Bad night (345)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

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  (913): I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box? http://tfl.nu/v8k1
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (572)

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