She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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