Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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