I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha