Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic