I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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