that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
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I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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