Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
