i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
