even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize