My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
