I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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