I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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