Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do you remember whose house we're in?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
