ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's always time for handjobs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
