her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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