I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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