____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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