oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
