I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
