Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
