last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
