Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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