tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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