:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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