I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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