I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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