She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
