No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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