I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
