New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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