her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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