your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
