his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Come on in and take your pants off
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