he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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