I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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