I hate your face
its not stalking. its research.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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