My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
