I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
